Nevermind that last post!

Hmm, well, I spoke too soon, I guess. :( I told my supervisor, who I really liked and got along well with, that I wanted to know the possibility of working around my school schedule at the end of my second day. I was candid with her, and that might have my problem (but that's who I am), but when I left, there was no inkling that I would be hearing a few hours later that I was terminated.

This was very premature and an unfair decision on their part. I can understand that they wanted to do what's best for the company, but I made it clear that I was serious about this job and that, if I had to, would work around their schedule. I just wanted to let them know as soon as possible about this possible issue, and if they were going to be lenient about it. She clearly said that they could deviate from the set work hours, so I said I would handle it on my end.

I really enjoyed the job and the people I worked with, and I would have continued on there for the foreseeable future. It was challenging, it was a learning experience and the stress level and workload was just right: not too busy to feel like I couldn't handle it, and not too little to get bored. I pretty much jumped right in, and did a great job. My supervisor said she was sorry and that it wasn't her decision, but she really enjoyed working with me. I hope that in the future that there could still be a job there for me. For now, I'm going to find something a little more flexible and possibly short-term. I'm seriously considering taking a break and visiting my mother and helping her out on her farm in eastern Ohio. I'd love to visit my sister in Alaska, or my cousins in South Carolina, too.

A new job!

Well, God did bless me with a job. I did a few interviews this week and the end of last week. I found out about this job late Thursday of last week, loved the pay, sent my resume via email, got a call about it early the next morning (on Friday), then set up an interview for later that day (rescheduling another interview for this past Tuesday). Did the interview (thought it went great), then heard back from them on Monday that they wanted to offer me the job. I thought I would start next Tuesday, but they called me on Wednesday and asked if I could start yesterday. Today is my second day.

The pay is great, but the drive is far. It's not really graphic design, as in that it's not really "creative", but I am using my skills. So far, so good. Now, I'm just worried about my plans for finishing up school. I have to trust God, though, that He will provide and make everything work out for me. I have to keep going down this path if it's God's Will.

Thanks for praying for me everybody!

Work for the Summer

Well, this past quarter of school has been hectic, fun, crazy and eventful. I've met a lot of people in my classes, at work, and outside of work. It's been great, but I'm glad I have a bit of a break during this summer. I have five weeks where I don't have class, and I've been trying to get a better paying and more fulfilling job. I love working at school in the IT Labs, but it just doesn't pay enough and I'm not taking enough classes to work there in the summer.

I had a couple of good leads on getting a paid internship at a couple places, but they have fallen through and I've been looking elsewhere in the meantime. Right now, I've got an unpaid graphic design internship (that doesn't give me enough work) and a freelance graphic design job where, right now, I'm waiting to hear back from my boss on my schedule and assignments. I've also got a full-time paid position that I'm applying for. I'm working on getting my portfolio together, so I can give something out during interviews.

In my personal life, the person that I thought was "the one" turned out to be a false alarm. There was good potential there, but it obviously wasn't to be. I've learned that as much as I want it to happen, I can't force it and if anything, the more you want that to happen, the more it turns out to be false hope. I've taken my focus back on improving my life and my own personal character, and going back to church, getting counseling and being more active.

I'm focusing on making my relationships healthy and trying to relieve the pressure off of them, as well as adjusting relationships that put pressure on me. Someone whom I never thought would be back in my life has returned and I'm still getting adjusted to that. I'm glad to have a second chance to make it work, but at the same time, leery of repeating the same mistakes. At the same time, trying to correct our past and improving our future is something I'm trying to achieve. I've got great friends, and getting more all the time, so I feel blessed in that area. Now, I just need a job that works for me. :D

Meeting the right person

Well, I've been looking and I've found a lot of people, and a lot of people have found me. I'm still not sure who's the right one for me, but I've found someone that really makes me happy and I really like her. I just have to make sure that I don't scare her away by liking her TOO MUCH! I have to try to slow down, but it's hard. I know if it's to be, then it will be. I hope we can continue how we are going and we can make it last. I'd love for her to be the right one.

Choices to make and finding the right path

Well, now that I have more time to think about myself and what I want out of life, I have to ask God, "What do you want my life to be?" I pray that I keep listening to Him and that He guides me in the choices I make, who I date, who I'm friends with, where to go and ask for His love to fill me up, so I that I can pass it on to others.

That's a dangerous line, though, because as guarded and shy as I am sometimes, I let myself become vulnerable to other thoughts or desires, and am too easily influenced by other people sometimes. I pray that He helps me to grow and continue to become a better Christian, and therefore, in the process, become stronger, more mature, and less susceptible to negative external influences. That I continue to grow and nurture my current relationships and make new ones. That He surrounds me with people that are positive for me and that they can help me to grow in the way that's best for me.

School and work (all 3 of my jobs!) is great right now and I'm lucky to have such good friends, like Randy and Ben, but being in love was really great, too. I've never felt so happy and carefree in my life. I was a better person for being in a relationship where I could just let myself be who I am, but also grow and change and find new meaning in life. I'm thankful for having the chance to experience that, but am starting to wonder if I was just blinded by love. I hope that God blesses me with someone that is right for me and that will treat me properly. [That may or may not be Chanda, but that is completely up to her and if she wants to listen to God's will in her life.] I pray that my past experiences won't sabotage any chance at falling in love or being able to trust again, and not to fall in love too prematurely.

Mourning again!

LOTS OF STUFF SINCE WE LAST "SPOKE"! TOO MUCH!

Well, maybe now that life is back to 'normal' (ie, life without love, or life without someone you love who doesn't love you back).

It sucks! I now have to struggle to keep my love in check without letting Satan try to taint my love with thoughts of pain and regret.

I'm mourning the loss of a possibility of being with someone I love (Chanda). I love you, Chanda! I would have stayed with you forever! I miss you! I pray for you and your happiness and the possibility that you will return to me someday.

Armin van Buuren in C-Bus (again)!

I just got back early yesterday morning from one of the most amazing live DJ sets I've even been to. I managed to get both of my good friends, Randy (whose celebrated his 27th birthday on Nov. 6) and Ben to come with me. I was really glad both of them came because it made it that much more fun.

The last time Armin van Buuren (who is officially the #1 DJ in the world, according to the voters in DJ Mag) came to Ohio, was amazing as well, but this time, it just seemed better; more exciting and fun.

I've put the photos from the show up on my Flickr site, so get check them out!

R.I.P. Soshi ...

Well, the news that I'd been longing for (and fearing) was finally thrust upon me today when I got home: my dog of 14 years, Soshi, has finally ceased to live.

The reason I was relieved initially when I heard this is that she has ceased to "live" for the last couple of weeks. She really hasn't been well for the past couple of weeks and I'm glad that she no longer has to suffer. It really hasn't hit me that she's gone yet, but when I buried her today a little earlier, I started to realize that she really is gone and I'll never have her greet when I walk in the door anymore.

Pets just can make me happy like no other thing (object or person). I know they will love me and I trust them more than I will ever trust another human being. I will miss you deeply, Soshi!

Pre-Moarning

Hey, everybody! Thanks for everyone who's given me emails and posts helping to console me in my time of grief (even though she's not even dead, yet). I know she's lasted a while, but I don't want to think about her death.

I've decided against putting her to sleep, as I don't think I can live with the guilt that I ended her life prematurely. I've been stressed about whether or not I will 'kill' her (when to do 'it'). I've decided NOT to decide.

The thing that has helped ease my mind is just knowing that it's not up to me when she dies. I've let 'Someone Else' take care of that. I know it's going to be soon, but when the time comes, I will not have any regrets.

Goodbye Soshi

My dog of (nearly) 14 years has become extremely sick of late. She has been deteriorating the past couple of months with kidney failure and possibly renal failure as well. Because she has kidney disease, she drinks a lot (from the toilet) and she has to excrete frequently and she doesn’t have control over this. She has been urinating on beds, chairs and all over the floor the past couple of months, but it has gotten worse over the weekend.

She just stands there in the middle of the room sometimes and looks confused and weak. She can’t stand very well, she can’t sit down or lie down without pain and taking a long time to do so. She can’t really walk up stairs very well without stumbling or tripping.

She hasn’t been eating much of anything over the weekend and I’ve had to nurse and coax her to get her to eat anything. I’m really worried about leaving her at home alone and I’m seriously considering putting her to sleep either today, or tomorrow. I never would have wanted to do it, and want to see her last as long as she can, but I don’t think she’s in good condition and I’ve tried everything to improve her condition.

She means a great deal to me and she will have been 14 years old about now. I got her about a month after my brother died in 1993 and she helped lift my spirits and recover from my loss.

Slacker Web & Desktop Radio

There's this really cool music discovery and web radio site, called Slacker, that I found out about late last year and it's still in beta (and therefore free). It doesn't have the music tracking, stats and social networking features like Last.FM (a really excellent site as well), but it really excels at just finding really great music for you. You don't have to input the music that you like (as per Last.FM), instead you just search for an artist or genre and it makes a personalized radio station for you. If you hear a track (or artist) you don't (or do) like, you can ban or 'favorite' them. The streaming is also really fast, high-quality audio and they have whole songs to listen to.



I was there today and found out that, in addition to the Flash-based browser app, they have a new desktop application (only Windows for right now). This will hook up to their future portable player and satellite radio for the car (think personalized XM). Try out the desktop app (haven't done it myself) or just try out the website (you don't have to join to start listening to the preconfigured radio stations) and let me know what you think.

Dan Doppelganger, Take 2!

Last night, Dan and I watched "My Name is Earl" and it just happened to have Dan's 'stunt' double. He played another psycho, crazed fiend and brought the house down.

Way to go, Dan! You're becoming FAMOUS! :D



(screencaps courtesy of NBC Rewind)

Birthday 2007

Well, another year has come and gone, but the fun isn't over. Later today, my family and friends are taking me down to Sima and we are going to have some delicious sushi and sake.

My friend, Ben (who absolutely rocks, btw!) is getting me the video game skate. for my birthday, too (if we can find it in the stores). It also came out on my birthday, so in addition to being a great game, it should also have some sentimental value as well.

Facebook!

Okay, lots of things have been happening lately, so just because I haven't been posting doesn't mean I haven't have interesting things to say (which, mostly is the case).

Anyways, I'll have to catch up with them, but for right now, I've just gotten into Facebook and found it to be pretty cool, so I'll obviously keep this going, but I've kind of made my Facebook reflect as much as I can this here blog. Check it out!

skate. is amazing!

The last 2 days I've been playing the skate. demo on my Xbox 360 and I (and my still skatin' lil bro) have been blown away with this game. The camera makes it feel like you are skating behind "yourself" filming a video. You can also hear the guy filming you talking to you.

The animation system is just mindblowing! Everything about it is just REAL. From your character looking down at the board when he pops up, to the way your character tries to regain his balance when he doesn't land correctly. The gameplay and control scheme is just so simple once you get the hang of it and it's quite intuitive. You just have to unlearn yourself the old (tired) controls of the endless Tony Hawk games you've undoubtedly played.

It's definitely not another Tony Hawk wannabe. In fact, it's focused on skating (and just skating), so the game's title, skate., is appropriate. Playing it definitely feels like skating and it's very fun, but your not worried about collecting stupid letters. You just keep practicing tricks and riding.

Summer is over!

Well, yesterday was my final meeting of my photography class (and I just updated my Flickr site with the 10 prints I scanned in for my final portfolio). I had to present my portfolio and afterwards I took my friend, Ben, down to Sima in Kettering, Ohio to eat some of the best sushi I've ever had. It was my second time going there and I really wanted to show Ben the place to celebrate the end of my class and to celebrate his birthday (which happened the week prior).

My photography class was hard, a lot of work, but I really liked it and everyone in my class and will miss them. The fall quarter starts up in about 2 weeks, so I don't have a lot of time to relax, but it's good to be free for a bit.

Alpha Dog - Dan's clone kicks ass!

So, my little brother and I were watching a movie he got from Netflix the other night. One of the reasons I think he picked Alpha Dog, the movie we watched, was that one of the main actors in it was someone I call "Dan-Doppelganger". Ben Foster is his actual name, but I like mine better. :) In fact, he looks so much like Dan (and me to some extent) I've made his portrait my Xbox Live public gamerpic (look to right of this post).

Now, I've seen Ben Foster in many other movies, one of the first being "Bang, Bang, You're Dead!". In Alpha Dog, he plays a crazy pot-head (not much unlike Dan in a less savory part of his life). He's Jewish in the movie and is all tattoo-ed up and reminds me of Edward Norton in American History X, but when he gets really intense, he starts knocking people down, ala Bruce Lee. In one scene, he even straight-punches some small girl for some reason. It's a pretty good movie and Ben Foster's intensity makes his scenes really stand out.

For some comparison shots:

Ben Foster:


My brother, Dan (I know, not the best picture but all I have here at work)

"Arbor Vitae"

Well, my brother is having another benefit event. This time at Ha-Ha Pizza in Yellow Springs on Thursday August 9th at 7:00 PM till 9:00 PM. The address is 108 Xenia Avenue Yellow Springs, OH 45387.

His art will be displayed in the gallery and can be sold. Click on the graphic he made to read more info about it.

My sister's visit and a television

I completely forgot to mention that my one and only (and older) sister is visiting from Alaska for 2 weeks. She came in on Friday and she, I, my friend, Ben, his roommate and his friend, all went to a really nice Asian restaurant where we loaded up on sushi and sake. Good stuff.

I also just bought a new 37" 1080p LCD HDTV. After waiting years for the right time to get an HDTV (I probably could have waited a few more), I finally made the jump. I've been holding off until prices were reasonable and the quality compromise from CRT wasn't as big. I'd still like to get a DLP instead, but my friend has had the same model since November of last year and still loves it and he bought it for $200 more than what I'm paying for it. It's a big step up from my current 24" flat CRT SDTV with component inputs I bought for my Xbox about 4 years ago. Now I have to figure out how I'm going to set it up.

News on my Summer

Well, I decided that, me being lazy and comfortable with my current position, I'd stay working where I'm at. For both positions, I'd supposedly need to be actively taking classes, so it would be better (even though I'm sure the pay rate is lower) to be where I'm at already. Also, that extra tutor position might not go through as the classes I would be helping out with will most likely be canceled due to a lack of registered students.

I was in a bit of pickle with the classes being offered as the English class I wanted to take was only open and being offered by a teacher that isn't the best one (though I checked the next day and the one I wanted was open). Also, I was able to take a Photography class that is required by my degree, so I didn't have to take another unnecessary class again just to get my 6 credits. I bought my books online used, saved some money, but now the wait begins. Hopefully, they arrive before I actually need them. I also need to hunt down an 35 or 120mm film SLR, and get film and print paper by next Tuesday. That one might be kinda tough.

As for my last quarter, I finally finished up on Monday. That research paper was kickin' my ass, but I got it done and finished up my online class with a final exam. Then, on Tuesday, I did three 20 minute quizzes and the final exam all in one class period because I didn't think I would be there for the last class period yesterday due to my scheduled (but then later re-scheduled jury duty). I'm glad to be done, but already next week on Tuesday, I've got another English class to have to deal with, as well as the Photography class, with not even a week of rest between quarters.

I could have taken the summer off and gotten a real (better-paying job) and been happy, but I'd like to get my English out of the way and be done with it.