Well, now that I have more time to think about myself and what I want out of life, I have to ask God, "What do you want my life to be?" I pray that I keep listening to Him and that He guides me in the choices I make, who I date, who I'm friends with, where to go and ask for His love to fill me up, so I that I can pass it on to others.
That's a dangerous line, though, because as guarded and shy as I am sometimes, I let myself become vulnerable to other thoughts or desires, and am too easily influenced by other people sometimes. I pray that He helps me to grow and continue to become a better Christian, and therefore, in the process, become stronger, more mature, and less susceptible to negative external influences. That I continue to grow and nurture my current relationships and make new ones. That He surrounds me with people that are positive for me and that they can help me to grow in the way that's best for me.
School and work (all 3 of my jobs!) is great right now and I'm lucky to have such good friends, like Randy and Ben, but being in love was really great, too. I've never felt so happy and carefree in my life. I was a better person for being in a relationship where I could just let myself be who I am, but also grow and change and find new meaning in life. I'm thankful for having the chance to experience that, but am starting to wonder if I was just blinded by love. I hope that God blesses me with someone that is right for me and that will treat me properly. [That may or may not be Chanda, but that is completely up to her and if she wants to listen to God's will in her life.] I pray that my past experiences won't sabotage any chance at falling in love or being able to trust again, and not to fall in love too prematurely.
